Strong & Courageous 

By Jill Fischetti

Be Strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or troubled. The Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:19

This verse seemed to get me through many days on my fertility journey. My husband Anthony and I were married just two years ago and never dreamed we would be challenged so shortly after. We knew we wanted to start a family right away and ended up getting pregnant on our honeymoon. I was so excited for that baby.

I never anticipated us struggling to get pregnant but I also didn’t expect our pregnancy to happen so quickly either, so when we found out we were expecting, we were overjoyed. I wanted to surprise my family in a big way so we invited everyone over a couple weeks later and had Chinese food with fortune cookies for everybody announcing our big news. Everyone was so excited for us and it was a wonderful evening!

I went to bed that evening and woke up to the loss of our first pregnancy. I had to call everyone and tell them that we were no longer expecting. It was the hardest few phone calls I’ve ever had to make. I was devastated, confused and felt so broken. I had never known anyone who had gone through this before and I didn’t know where to turn. I started googling and searching for places to online to find what I did wrong and how I could fix it for next time.

That is when I found “I am Fruitful” and realized quickly this was a situation I needed to bring to God. I started listening to Lauren talking about women in the bible who were infertile and struggling for years and then hearing about those same women bringing new life to the world after years of hopelessness. I knew God had put the desire to be a mom in my heart for a reason.

I knew He would not fail me and I should not be afraid.

I got pregnant again for a second time and didn’t have too much time for excitement because we had an early miscarriage this time and then another right after that. I ended up at the fertility doctors office where they could give me no reasons why I was losing theses pregnancies and no answers for how to fix it. I again questioned if I was doing something wrong, did I not deserve a baby? Was I being punished for past issues? I knew none of that was true.

I could feel God telling me that my rainbow baby was coming and that I needed to be faithful and trust Him. I declared that I was fruitful every morning no matter how crummy I felt that day, no matter how many of my friends announced their pregnancies on facebook that day, I just kept going. I surrounded myself with positive people, I put bible verses and Lauren’s encouragements all around my house on sticky notes, in my purse, and in my car and I got rid of things that weren’t helpful for me to see, read or hear.

One day I read an article about a woman who was going through infertility for many years. She decided on an act of faith; so she went out and bought a car seat and drove around with it in her car until she got pregnant and was able to fill that seat. It worked! I thought, “wow, how brave of this woman, to take such a leap of faith!” so I decided to do also do an act of faith... I went on Etsy and I bought a beautiful hand-made sign for my future baby’s room that read, “For this child I have prayed and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart” (Samuel 1:27).

I hung it in our spare bedroom and prayed in that room often. I had an appointment with my doctor to begin an invasive treatment and the day of the appointment I prayed about it and decided to cancel. I just knew I was pregnant. I took the test and there were those two pink lines. I thanked God for being faithful to me and promised him I would take meticulous care of any baby he sent to me.

A few months into my pregnancy I found out our baby had an intestinal blockage and would need immediate surgery after birth, and she would be in the NICU for months to recover. I knew God was trusting me with this special baby girl who needed us to be strong for her. I spent many nights praying over my belly that she would be strong and healthy and make it through all she had to endure on her birthday.

I am happy to say she was in the NICU for 24 days after her successful surgery and is now a happy healthy six-month-old who never stops smiling. I named her Lucy which means Light. She is truly the light of our lives and all the struggles we went through to get her here have made me into a fierce mama who is ready to take on the world with her.

I am forever thankful for Lauren and her team for all their encouragement on my journey to motherhood!